I hated KANK, the characters of SRK & Rani were outright disgusting, hardly a matter of viewing and thoughts. That the movie might have made millions is another matter, as a work of art, its' hollow and fails miserably like most Hindi movies.
Today I watched Little Children and soon realised what Karan Johar had watched before he "wrote" this movie. The unmarried Mardian delivers a story-line that's lacking imagination and depth, at the same time being out-right disgusting and unreal.
Watch the movie Little Children to understand what I'm talking about.
Showing posts with label Bollywood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bollywood. Show all posts
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Bathroom Imaginations & Screenplay: Saatchya Aat Gharat
To the writer of this movie, Mr. Sanjay Surkar, I just have this to say, "Get well soon!".
My heartfelt best wishes for you to get back into a better mental state, so that Marathi Cinema is spared another horrible state than what was achieved by the late. Laxmikant Berde & the not-so late Mr. Ashok Saraf.
Another suggestion, please do not ponder so much, about culture and humanity...you are incapable to both, and most of all, judging modern humanity.
I saw this movie, and was appalled by the senseless writing and screenplay, all under the guise of "intellectual" cinema. Here is why:
1. The whole movie tries to represent an entire generation, when it actually portrays some management kids (incapable of simple logical thoughts) in a dire situation - the guise of which is so foolish, it makes you see through the callousness of the writer to disregard depth in his story.
2. The movie tries to draw parallels' between mythology and real-life, and the lead is shown lecturing a man over her deep thinking, which, based on the screenplay, is nothing more than comparision to mytical circumstances. Why? Well, again the writer is too bored to use a wifi-laptop while he's relieving his compost, and research humanity, and sociology. Two key elements that are so sorely missed in this movie.
3. The superficial handling of a key topic shows immaturity. Acceptance of an assault victim isnt quite new Mr. Writer, not only that, Indian culture has a seriously long history of infidelity, which I personally believe is far more shocking than being assaulted. But hell, assault is a kick-ass word and sure to tickle the small marathi cine-goers, especially the grey heads that are clinging on to the hope that glory days are around the corner.
4. Undue importance to godly matters, while bearing no relevance to the actual story line, keeps
rearing its' head every once in a while throughout the movie, and gives it a pro-believer stance (its' not quite difficult to guess which community was involved in making the movie), I think the best way to debunk the gods in India would be to kill all demons aka "Bhul Bhulaiyaa" which would certainly open eyes of Indians to the "real" facts of human life and death.
5. Now, lastly to my serious contention that marathi cinema is dying not because of bad characterisation or storylines, but rather because the marathi film-industry is so far away from the modern concepts of human stories and stays so far away from key elements that make classics like Forrest Gump, RDB, Shwaas or all the ones that get oscars and nominations, that no one hopes much more than z-grade from them.
Another interesting fact which I feel is a bit of a sideline to the story, is the fact that its' set in Pune, a city full of students and IT / ITES companies. Full stop. No trade, no finance, nothing. Essentially the story of culturally old parents and young millionaire children. The movie is fantastic, within the boundaries of such a Galapagos, but applying it to anything beyond that is like imagining Dinosaurs as primary dairy suppliers.
However all's not lost, there is always a gem that comes out once in a while, and lets hope someone out there actually decides to take some efforts, do real work and then write movies.
My heartfelt best wishes for you to get back into a better mental state, so that Marathi Cinema is spared another horrible state than what was achieved by the late. Laxmikant Berde & the not-so late Mr. Ashok Saraf.
Another suggestion, please do not ponder so much, about culture and humanity...you are incapable to both, and most of all, judging modern humanity.
I saw this movie, and was appalled by the senseless writing and screenplay, all under the guise of "intellectual" cinema. Here is why:
1. The whole movie tries to represent an entire generation, when it actually portrays some management kids (incapable of simple logical thoughts) in a dire situation - the guise of which is so foolish, it makes you see through the callousness of the writer to disregard depth in his story.
2. The movie tries to draw parallels' between mythology and real-life, and the lead is shown lecturing a man over her deep thinking, which, based on the screenplay, is nothing more than comparision to mytical circumstances. Why? Well, again the writer is too bored to use a wifi-laptop while he's relieving his compost, and research humanity, and sociology. Two key elements that are so sorely missed in this movie.
3. The superficial handling of a key topic shows immaturity. Acceptance of an assault victim isnt quite new Mr. Writer, not only that, Indian culture has a seriously long history of infidelity, which I personally believe is far more shocking than being assaulted. But hell, assault is a kick-ass word and sure to tickle the small marathi cine-goers, especially the grey heads that are clinging on to the hope that glory days are around the corner.
4. Undue importance to godly matters, while bearing no relevance to the actual story line, keeps
rearing its' head every once in a while throughout the movie, and gives it a pro-believer stance (its' not quite difficult to guess which community was involved in making the movie), I think the best way to debunk the gods in India would be to kill all demons aka "Bhul Bhulaiyaa" which would certainly open eyes of Indians to the "real" facts of human life and death.
5. Now, lastly to my serious contention that marathi cinema is dying not because of bad characterisation or storylines, but rather because the marathi film-industry is so far away from the modern concepts of human stories and stays so far away from key elements that make classics like Forrest Gump, RDB, Shwaas or all the ones that get oscars and nominations, that no one hopes much more than z-grade from them.
Another interesting fact which I feel is a bit of a sideline to the story, is the fact that its' set in Pune, a city full of students and IT / ITES companies. Full stop. No trade, no finance, nothing. Essentially the story of culturally old parents and young millionaire children. The movie is fantastic, within the boundaries of such a Galapagos, but applying it to anything beyond that is like imagining Dinosaurs as primary dairy suppliers.
However all's not lost, there is always a gem that comes out once in a while, and lets hope someone out there actually decides to take some efforts, do real work and then write movies.
Friday, November 09, 2007
Goodwill Hunting - Deepika Padukone
India on the global scene is harshly misrepresented as a country of IT professionals, Call-center "Executives" and generally low cost professionals. So it comes as a surprise when India & Indians are presented with an aggressive and overtly glamourous defiance.What am I talking about?
Om Shanti Om has released today to packed audience. Amongst the several theatrics on TV today, was a news-channel showcasing the publicity visits by the cast of OSO to theatres in London.
And out came Deepika wearing a red Indian traditional dress, that brought the scintillating beauty and charm hidden beneath her calm exterior to fore.
Maybe I'm exaggerating, however it was quite pleasing to see Indian actors being celebrated the same manner overseas as they so boringly are back home. There was much more in store, a bit of googling around for OSO reviews, and the surprise was even much more pleasant. A canadian film critic not only rates OSO 3/5, but goes on to say that "OSO is far better than any Hollywood movie released right now, and one thing you realize is, this movie puts a smile on your face", and concludes with "Must watch".
Great work SRK & Deepika et. al.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Buddha Mar Gaya : No. 1 Hindi Parody Movie
This is my favourite genre, and watching movies like Hot-Shots, Airplane!, Scary Movie series have always made me wonder what a Hindi movie parody would be like. Well I got my answer, an extremely bold, and I must say offensive at-times, movie that fits the Indianized version of parodies - Buddha Mil Gaya.
It's not an average run-of-the mill movie rolled out by senseless directors, year after year...its' a movie with a lot of thought, that's what thrilled me. Never before has a Hindi movie had me bursting out in laughter as this one did.
But, make no mistake, this is not for everyone, if you are the ones who get offended easily, then please, dont watch this movie. However, if you ever wanted to be entertained, and are expecting just that and nothing more, then watch that movie on a big screen, you will come back a different person!
My personal fav scene is when a lady senior cop, giggles at the thought of having to see unknown body sans its' head, legs and hands...why...coz it still has its' "organs" intact. She shows sympthy at the missing head, then the missing hands, and rolls her eyes downwards, and immediately recognizes the body saying "Yeh to LK hai"...
Gruesome some might say, but hell its' celluloid...no ones' dead, its' just a joke and when you see it for the first time, it really drives you nutz...
Good movie, but I'm pretty sure it wont work, coz we Indians have been bought up on a dose of watching 40+ heros' romancing around trees celebrating their first love, and anything other than that just breaks our dreams...
It's not an average run-of-the mill movie rolled out by senseless directors, year after year...its' a movie with a lot of thought, that's what thrilled me. Never before has a Hindi movie had me bursting out in laughter as this one did.
But, make no mistake, this is not for everyone, if you are the ones who get offended easily, then please, dont watch this movie. However, if you ever wanted to be entertained, and are expecting just that and nothing more, then watch that movie on a big screen, you will come back a different person!
My personal fav scene is when a lady senior cop, giggles at the thought of having to see unknown body sans its' head, legs and hands...why...coz it still has its' "organs" intact. She shows sympthy at the missing head, then the missing hands, and rolls her eyes downwards, and immediately recognizes the body saying "Yeh to LK hai"...
Gruesome some might say, but hell its' celluloid...no ones' dead, its' just a joke and when you see it for the first time, it really drives you nutz...
Good movie, but I'm pretty sure it wont work, coz we Indians have been bought up on a dose of watching 40+ heros' romancing around trees celebrating their first love, and anything other than that just breaks our dreams...
Friday, June 08, 2007
Cheeni Kum
"You absolute horror of a human being" - Simon Bishop in As Good as it Gets.
God knows why Indian directors try to adapt English movies into Hindi. They forget the 200 years of cultural differences cannot be bridged in a day just so that their movie works!
No offence, Mr. Director & Mr. Bachhan!
Cheeni Kum sucks as a poor (bottom feeder poor) adaptation of a movie that I love every celluloid inch of. The very first 5-10 minutes of Cheeni Kum were enough to give me the source of this supposed masterpiece.
Call me frustrated, but I really havent accepted Tabu as an actress, I feel she lies in that vast twilight zone that always gets ignored for glamour and the goodies associated with charming lady leads. She lacks all of it. Her guise of good acting is highly questionable with single frequency dialogues, little voice modulation and no screen presence. Even then, I felt bad for her, she's portrayed rather crudely, and rather weak. Sorely missing is the dilemma that Carol undergoes as the movie goes along, that I felt was the key ingredient of an outright mis-match. Here we have this character going ga-ga like a 15 year old as if she's in love with a 17-year old.
Amitabh Bachhan, get over it dude. There is so much this man can offer, however he cannot possibly make a difference when the only directors that wish to employ him are those that wanna get noticed.
If only AB had a Madhuri Dixit or Raveena Tandon, I'm sure he'd have poured his heart out, but with Tabu standing next to you, there would certainly be a limit to the amount of passion you can portray.
Also, this movie makes cunning use of such rickshaw (crowd) pullers phrases like condoms, sexy, etc etc.
I wish someone bashes the producer-director for portraying the child-character the way they did.
Lastly, the movie tries to add a fourth (or fifth if you count the little neighbour), Paresh Rawal, whos utterly wasted as Tabu's dad. Shows how bad a director can get...
My serious opinion, do not watch this movie, rent out a "As good as it gets" DVD, even if you've watched it a zillion times. It'd be worth much more than the money you'd spend on this illogical inspiration.
Other reviews: Cheeni Kum : outlookindia.com
God knows why Indian directors try to adapt English movies into Hindi. They forget the 200 years of cultural differences cannot be bridged in a day just so that their movie works!No offence, Mr. Director & Mr. Bachhan!
Cheeni Kum sucks as a poor (bottom feeder poor) adaptation of a movie that I love every celluloid inch of. The very first 5-10 minutes of Cheeni Kum were enough to give me the source of this supposed masterpiece.
Call me frustrated, but I really havent accepted Tabu as an actress, I feel she lies in that vast twilight zone that always gets ignored for glamour and the goodies associated with charming lady leads. She lacks all of it. Her guise of good acting is highly questionable with single frequency dialogues, little voice modulation and no screen presence. Even then, I felt bad for her, she's portrayed rather crudely, and rather weak. Sorely missing is the dilemma that Carol undergoes as the movie goes along, that I felt was the key ingredient of an outright mis-match. Here we have this character going ga-ga like a 15 year old as if she's in love with a 17-year old.
Amitabh Bachhan, get over it dude. There is so much this man can offer, however he cannot possibly make a difference when the only directors that wish to employ him are those that wanna get noticed.
If only AB had a Madhuri Dixit or Raveena Tandon, I'm sure he'd have poured his heart out, but with Tabu standing next to you, there would certainly be a limit to the amount of passion you can portray.
Also, this movie makes cunning use of such rickshaw (crowd) pullers phrases like condoms, sexy, etc etc.
I wish someone bashes the producer-director for portraying the child-character the way they did.
Lastly, the movie tries to add a fourth (or fifth if you count the little neighbour), Paresh Rawal, whos utterly wasted as Tabu's dad. Shows how bad a director can get...
My serious opinion, do not watch this movie, rent out a "As good as it gets" DVD, even if you've watched it a zillion times. It'd be worth much more than the money you'd spend on this illogical inspiration.
Other reviews: Cheeni Kum : outlookindia.com
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Worst Hindi movies
I was so frustrated while watching a hindi movie recently, that I wanted to make sure I add that movie to a list of MUST-NOT-SEE even if you are offered a $1 bn!!!
Unfortunately there isnt one, so I thought I'll make my own. So here it goes.
1. Home Delivery
This is the movie what inspired me to write this blog.
A truly hardcore awful movie which actually makes you feel like you are in the middle of a bad dream. This could not have been any worse, and I dare say that even the actors in the movie could not have sat through the movie premiere.
The plot is about a "Style guru" (Viveik Oberoi) & Boman Irani (Pizza guy). That's ALL I could remember, and yeah there is Nani (a bountiful actress)
Horrid Quotient: 10/10
2. Gangster
I really wonder if Emraan Hasmi was a pimp, if he isnt I'll be disappointed. This is definately the first and the last Hasmi movie I'll ever see!
Shiney "Silent" Ahuja plays a "Big Ganglord" who insists on bashing / shooting himself. God, what message are we sending the world when India is the heartland of global outsourcing!
I love the ham scene that Shiney has done, he's crying and delivering a dialogue at the same time. I bet there was somthing sinister that he had done to the editor, for no editor worth his salt would have retained this scene. I'll try to post a movie clip of that scene.
Horrid Quotient: 9/10
3. Govinda Flixs
He's responsible for the bastardisation of Indian cinema. Give your money to some charity rather than watching Govinda's filthy work!
Horrid Quotient: 9.9/10
4. All these remakes - Don, Umrao Jaan and even Sholay!
God! Is there such a compulsion to make films, that directors are shamelessly agreeing that they are ready to make "copies" of original blockbusters. If they are really worth their salt, they should pick up all the disastrous movies and turn them into worthwhile movies. That would indeed be a tribute to the fallen artisans - they failed once, but their work was re-surrected.
Horrid Quotient: 8/10
5. Amitabh Horrors - Ganga Jamuna Saraswati, a few that I dont wanna remember names of...
They say even god falters, he certainly did so when he got a certain woman to marry a certain man that I know, however Amitabh isnt just god, he is far larger and grander than the almighty.
Or so we thought...but the movies listed above have proven that he's "Only Human!".
Horrid Quotient: 7/10
6. Neal N Nikki
There is loads of stuff already written about how horrible this movie is. It proves only one point, you cannot do anything if your star-child is a dud. Not only are the two actors (Uday & Tanisha) horrible to look at, they make matters worse by skipping acting classes altogether. Why is Uday so hell bent on making himself into a star...I mean those lip-sticks that he has on throughout the movie are a real low-point in Bollywood history. Gosh wonder what inspired this movie.
Horrid Quotient: 10/10
7. Apna Sapna Money Money
Filthy, Vulgar and down-right cheap. This movie is probably aimed at the void left by Govinda's disappearance from movies. The movie is very cleverly aimed at profits though, it is sure to end up a little above the red line for sure.
Horrid Quotient: 8/10
8. Bhagam Bhag
The movie is outrageously horrid. Crap dialogues, terrible looking actors, and an incoherent plot. The only thing good about the movie is I finally got to see the Member of Parliament of my area since the time he showed his face during elections.
Horrid Quotient: 9.9/10
Unfortunately there isnt one, so I thought I'll make my own. So here it goes.
1. Home Delivery
This is the movie what inspired me to write this blog.
A truly hardcore awful movie which actually makes you feel like you are in the middle of a bad dream. This could not have been any worse, and I dare say that even the actors in the movie could not have sat through the movie premiere.
The plot is about a "Style guru" (Viveik Oberoi) & Boman Irani (Pizza guy). That's ALL I could remember, and yeah there is Nani (a bountiful actress)
Horrid Quotient: 10/10
2. Gangster
I really wonder if Emraan Hasmi was a pimp, if he isnt I'll be disappointed. This is definately the first and the last Hasmi movie I'll ever see!
Shiney "Silent" Ahuja plays a "Big Ganglord" who insists on bashing / shooting himself. God, what message are we sending the world when India is the heartland of global outsourcing!
I love the ham scene that Shiney has done, he's crying and delivering a dialogue at the same time. I bet there was somthing sinister that he had done to the editor, for no editor worth his salt would have retained this scene. I'll try to post a movie clip of that scene.
Horrid Quotient: 9/10
3. Govinda Flixs
He's responsible for the bastardisation of Indian cinema. Give your money to some charity rather than watching Govinda's filthy work!
Horrid Quotient: 9.9/10
4. All these remakes - Don, Umrao Jaan and even Sholay!
God! Is there such a compulsion to make films, that directors are shamelessly agreeing that they are ready to make "copies" of original blockbusters. If they are really worth their salt, they should pick up all the disastrous movies and turn them into worthwhile movies. That would indeed be a tribute to the fallen artisans - they failed once, but their work was re-surrected.
Horrid Quotient: 8/10
5. Amitabh Horrors - Ganga Jamuna Saraswati, a few that I dont wanna remember names of...
They say even god falters, he certainly did so when he got a certain woman to marry a certain man that I know, however Amitabh isnt just god, he is far larger and grander than the almighty.
Or so we thought...but the movies listed above have proven that he's "Only Human!".
Horrid Quotient: 7/10
6. Neal N Nikki
There is loads of stuff already written about how horrible this movie is. It proves only one point, you cannot do anything if your star-child is a dud. Not only are the two actors (Uday & Tanisha) horrible to look at, they make matters worse by skipping acting classes altogether. Why is Uday so hell bent on making himself into a star...I mean those lip-sticks that he has on throughout the movie are a real low-point in Bollywood history. Gosh wonder what inspired this movie.
Horrid Quotient: 10/10
7. Apna Sapna Money Money
Filthy, Vulgar and down-right cheap. This movie is probably aimed at the void left by Govinda's disappearance from movies. The movie is very cleverly aimed at profits though, it is sure to end up a little above the red line for sure.
Horrid Quotient: 8/10
8. Bhagam Bhag
The movie is outrageously horrid. Crap dialogues, terrible looking actors, and an incoherent plot. The only thing good about the movie is I finally got to see the Member of Parliament of my area since the time he showed his face during elections.
Horrid Quotient: 9.9/10
Sunday, September 03, 2006
The Exorcism of Emily Rose
The Exorcism of Emily Rose
Saw this movie today!
The movie had a profounding effect, to begin with I make my wife chant hold hymns whenever I believe there might be a demon lurking in her. Well the movie's nice but arent there too many "facts" about demons and excorcisms which provoke one to think there is probably nothing more than the millions of dollars that such film-producers make?
Saw this movie today!
The movie had a profounding effect, to begin with I make my wife chant hold hymns whenever I believe there might be a demon lurking in her. Well the movie's nice but arent there too many "facts" about demons and excorcisms which provoke one to think there is probably nothing more than the millions of dollars that such film-producers make?
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